Lina:    Just recently I’ve found a part of my nature that’s very strongly critical and judgemental on other people. I sensed that it was always in me. It’s a pretty clear picture.

Mr Adie:   This picture provides you with an idea of when it’s going to come; you can begin to sense its approach. So, you have to become aware from a distance of the tread of its step and its shadow. Otherwise, if you wait until it’s there, what can you do?

Lina:   I’ve only seen it by reflection.

Mr Adie:  It is related to a feeling of superiority. That is a clue. Now I have to work on it and make the most when it’s present, and, as said, perhaps I’ll be able to notice its tread, or I may notice its mannerism. When I become aware of one of these little signs, like the feeling of superiority, this tells me it’s about to come. Little automatic remarks tell me it has creeped up on me:“What are you worrying me about?” or “Would you mind? I’m rather busy at the moment.” 

I can only use this understanding when I am present. All these internal movements are like changing colours. Some fish are very beautiful in the water, and they change colours, pink to green, sensitive and marvellous. But we’re the same in the colour of our moods: we go black, brown. Not always of course. Luke had an experience where he be quite sure that his colour changed some of the time. So, you need to use it, therefore use it. We go to sleep, and we have to wake up. It’s going to be a bit of a job to handle when it’s already there. 

Lina: I found that I was very judgemental with a person that I was recently going out with, and I said something very hurtful, comparing him to someone else. I didn’t even notice, later on he made me realise what I had done. So, I apologised and asked him to tell me if ever I talk like that or do things like that to bring to my notice. Do you think that’s right to ask someone?

Mr Adie:    Yes, as long as you weren’t scoring more points, establishing a further superiority over him. If you’re quite sincere, and said it quite honestly. It should be accompanied by a wish that you don’t manifest thus again. Otherwise it might amount to this: “Well anyway, don’t make a fuss about it, tell me next time.” If you do it that way, you’re half-way promising: “I’ll do it again if you’re not careful.” You have to sort that out. 

There’s a trap there. There’s a trap everywhere. Only I can truly know, but if I’m not there then nobody knows. If I am just a little nearer to the surface, I can know whether I’m honest. There is something rather magnificent about asking about to be advised. If you had said something pretty horrible, he will still have suffered. See, you need more feeling.  Even now. Here’s the thing … we sleep when we haven’t got feeling, we sleep when we haven’t got sensation.

One is recommended to awake, the words are: “Go to the ant, thou sluggard, consider her ways and be wise. The work provideth her food in the summer provideth her food in the harvest.” {Proverbs 6:6-8} And: “Poverty comes like one travelling and my want as an armed man.” {Proverbs 6:11} They are in the wilderness. They see the enemy coming. He’s a long, long way, away, and you fit in a nice short sleep. Next thing, you wake up and he’s standing in front of you with his weapon, and you’re lying helpless, at his mercy, because you didn’t remain awake. While I sleep, anybody can creep up on me, anything. If you watch the ants they don’t waste much time, or there’re a rat racing around carrying something about three times their own size. I mean, ancient these advices have been around for years and years and this is what it means, not to waste time, the time of one’s life. Not to be lazy. If I want to rest, let me rest, or if I want a change, let it be so. But not a sort of betwixt and between.

Lina:   I felt a lot in movements tonight and it really gave me something. I’m very grateful for being here. I only needed something like that to help me. It just gave me the reality of life.

Mr Adie:    Try and make some plan for yourself, you don’t have to tell anybody about it unless you need their cooperation. Make a plan and try and use it in some way. You have a new baby, and it needs you to take care of it. This is a special time. The creative production of a child alone will stop you doing some idiot things. Now, try immediately. Don’t waste time. Try and make some plan, make some notes to remind you so that next time you come with something.

I think to my myself that I’m over this now, it can’t happen again. But if it does happen again, it’s almost worse, because I’ve had one rescue, and if I go and jump in again, I may not find the life belt thrown to me quite so soon. Good, good.

If I can maintain the acknowledgement, that this is what I wish to do each day for my given life, for the time given me in which I can work, that would be something.

We really work to die, we work in order to die as we are, in order to be born as we can be.

This is the first death which takes place before you, death when you’re put in the coffin … the first death. It’s the death of the dominating personalities and imaginary I’s and all that. The death of my delightfully good opinion of myself, my conceit, all the things that really are rubbish. If we work hard, those will die and then I become different and able.

Then, I will be able then to face my real death. Of course, surely the final step will be the most difficult. We’re ascending: evolution means ascent, so if I work the next life can be an ascent from this one. If I don’t work, it is a descent. That’s rather a heavy thought. The Lamaists of Tibet have this keenly present in their burial services. First of all, the families pay priests to come and sit around the person and pray there while he is dying if possible, and in any case soon after. They sit in the room and their prayer is to the effect he may avoid this danger, avoid that, until his passing to the true state. But if he doesn’t quite manage that, then he should avoid this and avoid that, so he passes into something that still is a good state. And it goes on and on and on. They work on this for three or four days and then that’s the end of that. They work in that room and make these prayers and these emanations accompanying to help the man because the influence of the blood is still near. They’re talking when the total presence of the man hasn’t departed you see, they’re almost praying with him, helping him.

Mr Gurdjieff tell of another curious sect, who will gather after the death and after the burial and they occupy the room which the man would be present. They stay there for three or four days, they do nothing else but remind each other of what a sinner he was and how greedy he was and unpleasant, and how he did this harmful thing and how unpleasant he was here, and how he forgot to do that and how he didn’t care for this. All so that he won’t forget, so that they can remind him of the work he’s got to do. So, they’re trying to remind him of what’s important. The consciousness is vital. The man is conscious of something that took place. And he will not be able to pass on without pacifying that and repairing it. So, his good friends say he had his faults, even if he was a very good chap. They say how mean he was and so on and so forth, in order that he will not be lulled into a false peaceful sleep and finish up lower.

I relate that because it gives us an aspect of our work, and each day is a given day it’s a gift of life. What am I going to do with it? If I have the idea of work, it’s a miraculous possibility. If I have no idea of work well then, I’m just at the mercy of any old thing that will take me.

The giant cuttlefish, pictured, is one of those fish which change colour.