The next piece from this 1983 meeting was about the joy of which Mr Adie had been speaking. Later in the meeting he was to refer to this as “the exercise.” He said: “You know how it has been suggested in different ways that, in the morning I have to learn the sun in our own being rises in us. There’s a sun rises within us, the sun of our being, just as the sun is outside. I have put this down:
I grope in the dusk of the pre-dawn interval before the sun rises. It’s the dusk, and I need to come to myself, it’s neither dark nor light, the sun hasn’t risen. What is necessary? Where is the breath of the light of the morning? Where’s is it? Can I just wait, dead, to be awakened?
No, there already is a requirement. After sitting a little while, I come to a moment when thought stills tries to understand what is necessary. I have a sense that my preparation is incomplete. But in spite of this, I feel it is no longer useful to continue trying to make just the same effort which seems lacking in clarity and definition, and so I open my eyes: the sun shines, the room is still around me.
The thought comes to me, where is the joy of life? Where is the promise? Where is the banner that goes before? Where is the covenant, the holy covenant: “Ask, and it shall be given, knock and it shall open, seek and you shall find.”? Where is the covenant at this moment?
Joy, love, hope. They seem to have a hollow ring. They seem to be lacking in some significance. How can this be? But this thought has succeeded by further thought, the value of which at once gives it recognition, so that I am innerly quickened by its impact.
What is this thought? The thought is: joy is as only and always here and now, in the existing conditions, exactly inner and outer, just exactly as they are now, or even exactly as they seem to be given now. Looking for bygone years, looking for bygone joy, this is what misleads me, and as for future joy, this is a feeling which I cannot possibly imagine.
But now, still in a state of indefinable arrestment, just here now, in this very second, still, seemingly indeterminate, there appears joy. It comes like the perfume of unseen flowers. It comes with the soundless sweep of the wings of the messenger. It comes with the motionless eternal moment of inner self-realisation which opens to the joy of creation.
All moments are moments of creation, moments of joy and sorrow, moments of pain and joy, the pain and joy of acceptance. Faith is here now, hope is here now, and between them and around is the unity and the joy of love. Here now, in an eternal moment of truth, joy, sorrow, consciousness.
Question: who of us already realises that each of us, each moment, is the creator of the microcosm which he is? And that each creates his own dawn, his own sunrise, his own life? And in the end, his own participation in the macrocosmos.
Mr Adie then spoke to the group: “It started with a groping, and the dusk of the pre-dawn interval, and I find what is given as a result of this strange effort. Anything, anybody want to ask anything?”
Later in the meeting, he returned to this, and said: “Yes, well the counting exercise, the Soil Preparing, should continue. Try and understand that the exercise is the mechanism for collecting your attention and particularly for stopping your thought. You have to decide how much is necessary.”
“I shared with you my own experience of one morning. This was not just in order to have some pretty picture of the dawn. It is real and I do grow in the dawn. I need to try in the first possible glimpse of light to see what I need as quickly as I can. I use the counting exercise for this, because I either do it or I don’t, and I have means to judge whether I’m doing it or not. As soon as I feel more awake, in order as said, before my effort runs backwards into ordinary dreams, I then try and prepare myself.”
“I try to prepare myself to understand my position to see what I am, to have an idea of the day, a whole day of life in front of me, because otherwise I’m quite prepared to dash off without any thought. So that’s it, the exercise and the preparation, keep the exercise, it isn’t sufficiently done, it’s only just scratched the surface. If I have this experience, the more I do it, the more I can have experience of being present – free from what goes on in order to have a better approach and to understand in my preparation.”
“There will be other exercises but for the time being, try not to miss what this can give. It won’t be given for endless time. And then, the next thing is, we spoke a lot about work tonight, but it’s impossible to work without having some kind of a line of work. Nothing is achieved in one go, or two goes, or three goes, and each person needs to pick out what they should be at, their chief fault or chief feature. Decide now, this session if you like, what is going to be the centre of your work? You’ve been pointed out certain things, you’ve seen certain obvious obstacles. Which one or which ones are you going to make the centre of your effort to work on? And bring that definitely, it should be written down on a piece of paper, neatly, with very few words, ten or twenty words are ample: what your line of work is. Maybe it can be suggested something better but bring it to the small group on Tuesday or Wednesday, or Thursday next week.”
“Well, is there anything essential? I don’t want to make a lot of announcements because we’ve been talking about our things and we don’t want to blot it all out. We try not to lose everything, try to share special material on combined meetings. Try to not lose it, try and make a few notes and records of it … yes …good.”
With that the meeting ended.
